Quote about writers

Writers — particularly storytellers like myself — write about people. That is ironic, since we actually know nothing about them.

Think about it. Why does someone become a writer? Is it because they like people? Of course not. Why else would we seek out a job where we get to spend all day, every day, cooped up in our basement with no company besides paper, a pencil, and our imaginary friends?

Writers hate people. If you’ve ever met a writer, you know that they’re generally awkward, slovenly individuals who live beneath stairwells, hiss at those who pass, and forget to bathe for weeklong periods. And those are the socially competent ones.

— Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz versus The Scrivener’s Bones

Screenwriting advice

Some advice for screenwriters who’ve never done anything else.

Business men are not automatically evil. Neither are they stupid.

It’s a rather sad state of affairs that businessmen are the only minority it is acceptable to pile on. They don’t have public interest groups like CAIR to threaten any show or film that maligns them, and they don’t have a reputation for suicide bombing or kidnapping and decapitating those who say things they do not like. But I don’t think the fault here is moral cowardice only. It’s also laziness of mind, as well as personal vendetta on the part of the creators.

Successful businessmen, even less so.

Quick, how many successful businessmen in Hollywood productions earned their success and have nothing to be ashamed of? Yeah, pretty much. Again, this is not entirely laziness on the part of the writers and other creators. As I indicated above, vendetta explains it, too. Writers usually have worked menial jobs before breaking into Hollywood, and nobody in such jobs likes their boss overmuch. When your boss expects you only to make a double mocha latte in a short amount of time, and has no appreciation for your skills as a wordsmith, it can rankle. So, revenge through drama! ((Final version of that paper available at SSRN.)) Also, and this likely also plays a part, Hollywood executives seem to be lost at sea. They might have MBAs, but they really have no clue how to run a studio, as evidenced by the unending tide of remakes, reimaginings, reboots, and adaptations when measured against original material that Hollywood puts out. Hollywood, more than most capitalist enterprises, is at the mercy of luck, so it would be no surprise that a Hollywood executive felt that he had not earned his place, or projected that feeling into his productions.

US soldiers are not stupid.

Just try talking to one. Or better yet, go through the application process to become one. You know, for research. Warning: you probably won’t measure up. If you do, then go through basic (again, for research) and get to know not only the other trainees, but the drill sergeants (or DIs, if you opt for Marine training) as well.

US soldiers are not bloodthirsty killers, either.

They have something that you might have read about somewhere, called honor. It’s not just a word to them. The job is to kill people and break things, but that is not the purpose of the job. If you cannot understand that difference, which is hardly subtle, how can you call yourself a writer?

Irony is easy. Sincerity is hard.

Remember Rick in Casablanca? He spent most of the movie as a drunken, ironic smartass. Why? Because it was easy. It took him till the end of the film to take up a cause and devote himself to it (again). Why? Because it was not easy. It was hard. The same goes for writing, more or less. Irony has its place, and that place is not superior to everything else in the world. If you put it there, you confess your own laziness or lack of imagination.

Serial killers and mass murderers are pathetic individuals, not unnaturally canny geniuses.

The reason that serial killers don’t get caught virtually never has anything to do with their intelligence, it is because they are either somewhat lucky, or else just so random in their killings that it is next to impossible to connect them to their deeds. For but two examples, do some reading on Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole. If you added their IQs together, you might achieve genius level. Hannibal Lecter is a piece of fiction.

Even evil individuals have reasons for what they do, and those reasons almost never consist solely (or even partly) of “I need to be evil”. What they do makes sense to them on some level.

This doesn’t mean that the audience wants to (or should) sympathize with suicide bombers. In fact, those are perhaps the most “humanized” of all villains, of late. But wouldn’t it be nice if Clichéd Evil Businessmen actually had a motive for what they did? One that made sense would be even better.

People don’t go to movies to have their noses rubbed in the dirt. They don’t go to movies to look down or to be looked down upon. They seek something ennobling, more often than not.

Look at the track record of every single “let’s lose in Iraq” movie made in the last several years, start Redacted or War, Inc. Then look at the box office returns for any of a number of superhero movies that actually attempted to portray genuine heroism — Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Incredibles. Or, to take a longer-term view — which movie do people still watch, and love: Kids or The Shawshank Redemption? Stop telling the world how much everything sucks and start aiming for something better.

Terrorists really do tend to be Arabic and/or Muslim.

Not dandified, northern european neo-nazis who wear impeccably tailored suits and listen to nothing but classical music.

European neo-nazis are not, alas, much of a threat. Islamofascists, contrariwise, are.

Just ask filmmaker Theo van Gogh.

Formula is not inherently bad.

Doing formula well is not easy, but if you can do it well, it could be of enormous benefit to your career. If people (audiences, producers, or whomever) not only know what to expect from you, but anticipate it and know that it will be good, rather than hack-work, that’s money in the bank. And it’s not a bad thing for an audience to have a good idea of what they’re getting. It is a bad thing to let them expect one thing, then suckerpunch them with another. You may get accolades and kudos from your peers, but you won’t get returning audiences. At least, not for long.

Breaking formula is not inherently good.

When was the last straight, unironic, non-postmodern western released to theaters? (Excepting, perhaps, Appaloosa, which I’ve not seen.) If a western comes out, audiences already know that, if there are in fact Indians in it, they are all noble and wise and oppressed by Whitey. This applies to more than just westerns, as well. Again, when was the last action film involving terrorism where the terrorists were actually Muslim? When was the last time the well-dressed, classical music loving businessman not the villain?

Or, if the preceding two don’t make sense, then how about this: “breaking formula” has been a predictible formula in Hollywood for a long, long time.

Really, does this need to be expanded upon?

There are innumerable others that could be listed here, but these are my main bugaboos lately.

How-To Books

I don’t even remember how many screenwriting books I’ve read. It’s rather a rite of passage, I suppose, and while I’ve picked up a couple more in the past year, I mostly skim them. After a certain point, you’ve read everything there is to say, and you just need to write.

That said, certain books are more worth your time than others. Here are the ones I most recommend:

Books on screenwriting.

• The Secrets of Action Screenwriting by William C. Martell. (Out Of Print)
  Currently out of print, but this is the best nuts-and-bolts book on screenwriting I’ve ever seen. Plus, unlike most other screenwriting books, Bill’s a screenwriter first, having had some 19 movies produced from his scripts. Bill’s been shopping it to publishers (it was initially self-published), and at some point somebody should bite — copies sell on eBay for $200 and up!
• The Complete Book of Scriptwriting by J. Michael Straczynski.
  One of the few other books by an actual working writer. More or less glosses over the technical stuff, but a nice overview of scriptwriting, plus an appendix with one of the best Babylon 5 scripts for an example (“The Coming of Shadows”).
• Screenwriting from the Soul by Richard Krevolin. (Out Of Print)
  OK, it had an annoying conceit, basing its structure on Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet. But the information in it was pretty solid and well-communicated. Even the Kant reference made good sense. And how many screenwriting books reference Kant, or any philosopher, in any capacity?
• The 101 Habits of Highly Successful Screenwriters by Karl Iglesias.
  A great book to dip into, rather than read straight through. Iglesias interviewed more than half a dozen successful screenwriters, and lets them speak directly to the reader under a vast array of subjects.
• Story by Robert McKee.
  It’s easy to knock his over-analytical method, and he does get buried in minutiae. But it’s relatively easy to get past that and see what he’s getting at. And what he’s getting at is good, an antidote to navel-gazing art films and action films that use shakycam and explosions to cover up plot holes (or total lack of plot altogether).

Books on writing:

• The Art of Fiction by Ayn Rand.
  It doesn’t matter whether you disagree with her philosophy — the knowledge and advice she shares here on constructing fiction is invaluable. And if you turn out not to like her methods, then try:
• On Writing by Stephen King.
  Pretty much a polar-opposite approach to Rand’s, King believes in giving total control to your subconscious, and not plotting anything ahead of time. His advice on how to do it is pretty good, even if he does neglect to make clear that his methods, even for him, lead to as many trainwrecks (Bag of Bones) as masterworks (The Shining). Point being, he doesn’t believe in analysis or planning at all, just in going with your gut. Some people need to work that way. If you’re one of them, then this book is for you. And if you’re not, it’s still a very good read.

Logline Workshop — Dead Man’s Reckoning

So I’m working on a draft of a screenplay that I like, that should be saleable, but I don’t have a solid logline yet.

I’m in love with the title, the very Max Brand-ish Dead Man’s Reckoning. It gives a sense of the story’s Western roots, and lets you know right off there’s going to be a big to-do at the climax. The first two words also work on two levels, literal and metaphorical, but we’ll get to that in a bit.

Anyhow, I took a few cracks at a logline. Here’s the first draft: Dead Man’s Reckoning is a story in which:

A bounty hunter hired to transport a very wanted man gets caught up in another man’s quest for vengeance.

OK, that’s three characters in the logline, which already is a bit much (and there’s more to come), and overall it’s kind of bland. But the real conflict of the story is there, and I like the “very wanted man” bit, too. Still, who is this protagonist? 19 words, nice and concise.

Second draft:

World-weary bounty hunter Joel Marquette, hired to transport a wanted man, gets caught in the path of another man’s vengeance.

Now you’ve got a name for the protag that’s kind of interesting, I hope (a bounty hunter named Joel?), and you know more about hiim. The conflict also feels stronger — instead of getting caught up in another man’s vengeance, he’s caught in its path, like it’s an oncoming truck. 20 words (21 if you don’t let the hyphen join the first two), still under the 25 word “limit”.

Still, missing some stuff I’d like to work in. Ergo,

Third draft:

Hired to transport a wanted man, world-weary bounty hunter Joel Marquette gets caught between a man set on bloody vengeance and the beautiful young woman that man vowed to rescue — and kill.

I like this one a lot better, even though it’s too long (32 words) and more of a mess with four characters in play and a bit of awkward construction toward the end.

But this is the one I like best, even though it needs work and paring down. You’ve got the protagonist, the job that lands him in the situation, the main conflict, and the stakes he’s going to be fighting for.

There’s still some things that could be better. You don’t get the sense that the protagonist is pretty young, world-weary before his time, which is kind of important to the story and theme. And is the primary feature of the young woman really that she’s beautiful? But she is, and that’s a factor in the story.

What’s also interesting is what I’m leaving out — this is a vampire movie, but the vampires are actually peripheral to the real story. The “dead man” of the title can be read literally as the head vamp, but it could also be our protagonist, whose emotional life is deadened, or to the antagonist, who is spiritually dead. None of that needs to be in the logline except by implication, which some of it is. Although it might be nice to work the vamps in, I like it without.

For the nonce, I’m sticking with this one, at least till I have a draft of the script done that I’m willing to show people. After that, I’ll try to get the logline into better shape.

Look homeward

All further activity will take place at my main site, barring unforeseen disasters. This blog goes back to being strictly a backup.

High Concept

Yesterday I came across two ideas for stories. One is a vague suggestion of something, not at all a full story or even concept, just a starting point. But potentially cool.

The other is one of the more sure–fire high–concept ideas I’ve ever had. The entire idea of the story in twenty not–especially–carefully–chosen words. It’s a silly idea, by my lights, but also one of those things that almost certainly will sell to somebody, if I get a halfway decent script out of it.

I’ve even got a title for it, but I’m holding onto it for the moment.

Current Projects

Monstrous — Blazing through a first draft, which I’m not loving. But I still love some of the ideas behind it, so it will get a second draft, come what may. Title ripped off from one of Cloverfield’s rumored titles, but the story is nothing at all like that.

Dead Man’s Reckoning — Stalled on a draft because I seemed to wander away from the story (and to blow the potential budget and shooting time way up). If I can keep on task, it’s going to be cool.

TOP SECRET PROJECT — Outlining a public domain property that has never been adapted, and nothing like it has ever been filmed, to the best of my knowledge. If I pull it off, it would be the best calling-card script I could ever hope for.

Under Alien Eyes — Rethinking the structure, trying to figure out how to sharpen and simplify the story, because the draft or three I wrote got out of hand. I love the story, but need to keep it low budget, because I don’t think it would ever be a blockbuster.

Titles without stories

A Few May Remember (from Raymond Chandler’s unused titles)
Lament, But No Tears (ditto)
Aye, Perdition!
The Land of Dreams (from a poem by Wm. Blake)
Lunkhead
Rum Run
Came the Revolution
Somebody’s Mistress
In the Details
Devil May Care
The Big Quiet
Second Nature
Metal Storm
Express Ticket To Hell
How to be Human
Random Chance and Happenstance
Face to Face
Slammers
With Dignity
Just For Fun
Free On Board
Never Breathe a Word
Lord, What Fools
Confessions of an Ardent Heart
Cheek to Jowl
Slumming with Angels
Weight of Shadows
Fader
Under Stranger Suns
Bad Man’s Ransom
Ark of Death
Boiled Blood
The Flash-Frozen Corpse
Deader than Detroit

Market ahoy!

In the next month, I’m going to get cracking.